Nothing compares to the pain of betrayal, especially from someone you have grown to love and trust. And nothing is as frustrating and draining as working towards winning trust again from a betrayed partner. If you are facing the temptation of cheating, This post will highlight 10 reasons why you should not cheat on your partner that you might not find anywhere else. Stay with me for a few minutes and determine whether the risk is worth it.
There are several types of affairs, however, this discussion will focus on physical affairs which entail sexual intimacy with someone other than your partner. An article written in Psychology today points out that most people that cheat actually love their partners, are attracted to them, and value their relationship.
Now, that sounds absurd, doesn’t it?
I mean, if you love a person, why would you want to expose them to the pain and torture that comes with infidelity?
If you want to understand the depth of the pain experienced by a betrayed partner, read Code Blue on Amazon for free.
Why do people cheat?
People cheat for different reasons.
I need you to really think about the reason why you feel like being sexually intimate with someone else other than your partner.
Do you happen to relate to any of these reasons?
- Neglect/loneliness
- Toxic/Dysfunctional relationship
- Disconnection/poor communication
- Anger/revenge
- Opportunity
- Need to feel desired and worthy
- Financial gain
- Weak moral values
- Uncontrolled sex drive
- Sexual attraction to another person
- Fun, adventure, and exploration
- Unknown; none of these reasons reflect yours and you really don’t know why you want to do it, but the urge is so strong it’s killing you.
Do you think I’ve left out a valid reason? Please drop that in the comments.
Knowing the reason and motivation for doing something is as good as problem solved. Once you identify the reason, ask yourself, do you think cheating is the best resort?
For instance, if the root of the problem is loneliness and neglect but no matter how much you address it, your partner seems not to take concern. Do you think cheating will change anything? You will finally attract the attention you crave to yourself alright. But trust me it will be the toxic kind of attention for months and months to come. Which might actually force you to leave if you are the impatient type.
10 Reasons why you should not go ahead and cheat
Betrayal trauma is excruciatingly dilapidating and you will live with the effects of it for as long as three years…that’s if you will endure past the insanity of the first 6 months. Let’s look at what you might experience in the first few months after being caught.
1. Your partner will never be the same again after you get caught.
And no doubt you will get caught sooner or later. You might be very smart at covering your tracks but at some point, you will forget to cover something and the cat will spring out.
2. You might never be fully trusted again
Trust is easily broken but impossibly hard to build. Your partner might say it or even try to show it, but you might never be fully trusted again. Trust is the cornerstone of a relationship and without it, no real connection will ever be formed. Much worse, you might have to deal with being monitored for quite a long while in the early stages after disclosure. You might have been accountable before for your whereabouts by word of mouth, but after you cheat, you might be expected to be visually accountable. Talk about videos of your whereabouts, access to all your gadgets and passwords, GPS tracking, etc. Now, that’s toxic and you might not be able to handle it.
3. All forms of Shame
This comes with the shame of disclosure and your partner might ask you to disclose certain uncomfortable details over and over again. Some details will be shameful to narrate but if you love your partner, you might have to do it.
4. Hours and series of counselling
Which is good because a lot of garbage will be exposed and dealt with. But lets be honest, the majority of us are not fans of sitting with a therapist and lying ourselves bare. Besides, you might want to think of all the other fun or progressive things you could do with your partner and family during those long uncomfortable soul deep guided talks.
5. Constant Apologies
Man, you will literally be sorry for as long as ‘long time’ can be. You might even apologise for things that are not your fault during the recovery period because your betrayed partner is wounded and hurting. And you feel like a monster because you did that to them. You will even be sorry for the mornings that they genuinely wakeup from the wrong side of the bed and has nothing to do with you. And all that warranted and unwarranted remorse will just dilapidate you.
6. Toxicity
You will create hostile grounds that will be filled with frequent anger outbursts, hysterical tears, name calling, paranoia, relapses, and sometimes violence…all these are not allowed in trauma recovery, but they do happen…often unfortunately. If the relationship becomes unsafe for you at this point, you might need to physically withdraw. Yes, it will be your fault, but we need you alive so you can make better choices than the one you want to make now. Make sure you are safe during trauma recovery. Better yet, just don’t cheat already!
7. Erosion of trust in your future relationships
If you do end up with your affair partner, they will never trust you. Because they know how low your integrity levels are, they will expect you to cheat on them too. This is not a good foundation for a relationship. You might want to officially leave the other person, before committing to someone else. Also having a history of cheating will affect the extent to which any new person will trust you.
8. Relapse setbacks
And then, just when you think things are back on track again, then boom! Your partner relapses and you are ten steps backwards. This is perfectly normal during trauma recovery, but very frustrating and discouraging for you.
9. You will damage the person you claim to love
Your partner will battle not only excruciating pain and post traumatic stress disorder related symptoms, but will question their self esteem, self worth, self value, and position in your life. You will create a broken person. A relationship with someone broken is often toxic.
10. Death
Cheating must be added to the list of 1000 ways to die. If you are on social media, you have obviously seen articles where lives are lost due to extreme reactions to infidelity. While this is not tolerable and is liable to life imprisonment, do not place yourself at risk especially if you are already in a toxic relationship. You are better off getting out, being free, and pursuing another relationship as a single person. Especially if you are dealing with a narcist or a person with personality disorders. Please, break the relationship before starting another one, okay.
I hope these 10 reasons why you should not cheat on your partner are relevant enough for you not to go through with it. There are other ways of dealing with dysfunctional relationships and I will be sharing something on that soon, so stick around and subscribe.
